Imagine having a crush on someone. And for the past few weeks, that "someone" has been consistently staring at you from across the cafeteria. Exciting, isn't it?
Having your crush stare back at you means they have noticed you. They might already know about your feelings for them. You are one step closer to talking to them for the first time.
But the problem arises when they never approach you to talk. You keep on waiting for this miracle to happen as time passes by. Therefore, it is quite normal for you to have questions. That's where I come in.
I have enlisted some possible reasons for them to stare at you without talking and ways in which you can deal with the situation. Read on.
Why do they do what they do?
When your crush gets to know about your feelings, they will want to know more about you. The constant staring might not even be a deliberate thing. They have to look at you. Put yourself in their position. Wouldn't you have done the same thing?
But there is not just one reason for a person to stare at you like that. Let's explore the myriad other reasons for their behavior. Dive in.
#1 They know you have a crush on them
They have learned about your feelings from someone you both know. They already know you have a crush on them, and they are acting on that bit of information now by staring at you from across a distance.
They want to observe you for now. Before getting to talk to you, they want to know you better. They can also get to know you by talking to your friends, but that information might be a bit biased with all the good things about you.
Observing you alone will ensure a somewhat unbiased picture of what kind of person you are. They won't talk to you right now. That might take time.
#2 They have a crush on you too
They stare at you clearly because they have a crush on you too. Now,this is a very fortunate situation. For now, it seems that you guys are made for each other, like Simon and Daphne from the first season ofBridgerton.
Your crush has a crush on you. Nothing can be happier than this thought. However, talking to them wouldn't be that easy.Chances are there; they won't come and talk to you, especially if they are a bit shy.
If you are a similar person, then a silent war between the two of you is about to take place based on who breaks first and talks to the other.
#3 They want to say something
They are staring at you because they want to say something. They are running short of words to speak to you. Staring at you helps them to compose the sentences with which they may approach you.
As I have said earlier, chances are there that they already know about your feelings for them. They wish to act on the situation swiftly. They were waiting for you to approach them, but somehow, you are taking too long to do that.
As they have started to have feelings for you, they want to let you know. Butcreating a first impression is an immensely difficult, stressful, and anxiety-inducing job.They are taking time to compose themselves, meanwhile staring at you for inspiration.
#4 They don't like you
They just got to know about your feelings for them from a source common to both of you. Butthey don't share your feelings.They are staring at you because they don't like you in the way you like them.
They are not even your friend. Therefore, talking to you directly is out of the question. Have you seen how they look at you? If you look carefully, you might find the lack of affection in their eyes.
When you like someone and that someone likes you back, their eyes speak volumes about their feelings. The same happens when someone who doesn't like you stares at you from a distance. You will see the dislike in their eyes. This might be a cue for you to let go of them and move on with your life.
#5 They are intimidated by you
Something about you intimidates them. They like you back. They even want to talk to you. But your larger-than-life personality stops them from approaching you.
You have a crush on them.They just can't believe that. They think they are not your type, with reference to the people you have dated in the past. They think they don't deserve you.
Remember Ross's girlfriend Charlie in the last season ofF.R.I.E.N.D.S? Charlie's achievements, the Nobel-winning guys she dated, immensely intimidated Ross into behaving like a fool. That is what's happening with you too.
#6 They can't talk in front of your friends
Have you seen yourself from a distance? You are always surrounded by your friends. They are judgmental and nosy at the same time. If your crush, who stares at you all the time, wants to approach you, they will have a chance of getting brutally grilled by your friends.
They can't talk to you in front of your friends because of all the judgmental eyes. Your friends have a nefarious track record of bullying people. Everybody knows that. So does your crush. That is the reason why they sit at a distance staring at you.
It can also be the case that your friends are fiercely protective of you. They don't want you to face any harm. If your crush likes you back, they will have to go through all the grueling psychological warfare that your friends have planned for them as a test.
#7 They can't talk in front of their friends
They can't talk to you in front of their friends either, and that's what makes them stare at you, uncomfortably, all the time. They know that you have a crush on them, and so do their friends. These friends want them to sit back until you become the one to talk first.
They can't ignore their friends. If they try to succumb to the thought of talking to you first, they will be stopped by their friends.Like I said earlier, there is a war going on between the two of you, and your friends are an important part of it. They practically nudged you into this.
If you guys are able to ignore their influence over your lives, life would be easier.You might even be able to approach each other without all these weird complications about who should talk first.
#8 They are already in a relationship
They stare at you clearly because they like you back. They know that you have a crush on them. Butthe one thing that comes between the two of you is the fact that they are already in a relationship.
Owing to the situation, one can say that this relationship is not a very happy one.Otherwise, they would not have ended up liking you back. They stare at you without saying a word for days as they are scared of losing what they have with their present partner. Basically, they are confused.
There is nothing you can do to help this situation. And,you should definitely not come between this couple.It's their life, and they should decide together what to do with it.
#9 They want you to talk first
Quite naturally, their ego has won, and they want you to talk first. They know you have a crush on them. That's why they have been staring at you. But talking to you is a distant dream as that will mean they have succumbed to their feelings.
If the same thing is happening with you, then I would recommend both of you take a step back and slowly try to move on, as two immensely egotistic individuals in a relationship would be a recipe for disaster.
#10 They are shy
They can only stare without talking to you because they are shy. They want to approach you first. The strict advice from their friends about not talking to you doesn't matter.
They will need some time to compose their mind. They will need to decide what they want to say to you when you guys finally talk. They will probably be relieved if you go up and talk to them first.
In this case, there are no ego fights and clashes between two strong personas. You just have to understand each other to start something that will be worth remembering.
What to do when the crush stares at you?
Your crush is staring at you. That is an exciting event. You have talked about it with your friends. You feel like flying. But what happens if they never talk to you. They could be shy or intimidated. Whatever the reason is, they are not talking to you. You need to know how they truly feel, and for that, good conversation is necessary.
But how to approach them. I'll help you with this. Keep reading.
#1 Directly go and talk to them
Don't sit and wait for them to come up and talk to you.You have a crush on them, and therefore, you need to approach them first. Do it quick, or else you will regret not acting soon enough if someone else decides to dive in.
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Clear your head, walk up to them and say:"Hi. You do know I have a crush on you. That's why you stare at me all the time. That is the reason why I am here."
A straightforward approach will definitely stump them, and this will be immensely impressive too. Forget all your inhibitions and shaking knees, and try doing this.
#2 Ask your friends to talk to them
This is one of the most effective and time-tested ways of approaching your crush. Ask your friends to talk to them.They can strike up a friendship with this person to gather information about their feelings for you and the reason why they stare at you all the time.
An added advantage—your friends will be able to judge them in the right way. You will get to know what kind of person they areand if they are worth your time and effort.
#3 Talk to their friends
If you are not a shy person, you can go up to their friends to gather information about them. Now I must say thatthese friends will most definitely spill the beans to their friend about the fact that you approached them with questions about your crush.
They might even believe that they have an added advantage, a point more than you. However, that's not true. You are a brave person who wasn't shy about your feelings, unlike them. You are true to yourself, and that's what matters.
#4 Set up a meeting with the help of a common friend
You guys sit in the same cafeteria. That's where your crush stares at you without talking to you even once. You guys must have a common friend— a person who is a part of both your groups.
This common friend can be your ticket to meet them in person. Talk to this friend and set up a meeting at a discreet place.This common friend can be the secret-bearing Joey Tribbiani in your relationship. Your other friends don't have to know anything about this meeting yet.
Choose a place that none of your friends frequent. It can be that little, unimpressive diner by the street that serves the worst burger. That can be your hideout (you don't have to eat the burgers, of course).
#5 Check if they're really into you
They can stare at you for many reasons. You will never know the true one unless you talk to them or their friends. You need to check if they are really into you.
They probably know that you have a crush on them. That is why they keep staring at you all the time. They are checking out the person who allegedly has a crush on them. But that doesn't necessarily mean they, too, are into you.
Checking if they like you too will help you decide what to do next.If you find out they have no feelings for you and they like to stare just like that, you will have a solid reason to move on with your life. You deserve better.
But if you find out that this person is interested in you, you can go and talk to them directly. It can be the start of a great relationship.They may be the one.
#6 Check if they are in a relationship
Believe me when I say this— you do not want to be in the middle of another relationship. You can't be the one that breaks up a couple. Check and double-check if they are already in a relationship.
They can stare at you as much as they want. Those eyes belong to them; they can do whatever they want with their eyes. But it is your responsibility to not meddle in complicated matters. Meddling into another relationship can complicate your life along with that of your crush and their partner.
If you get a hint about their relationship, stay away from them for the sake of your sanity.You wouldn't want to lose sleep over a person who is anything but loyal.
#7 Follow them on social media
Social media is a great place to know more about your crush.If you are not friends on Facebook or if you don't follow each other on Instagram yet, you can always take the help of a common friend.
If they have a private Instagram account, followed by one of your friends, you can check what they are up to from your friend's phone.
However, if you want to let them know that you are following their activities (moreover, if you don't want to be a Joe Goldberg from the hit Netflix show,You),you can follow them. They will know that you are really interested in them.
#8 DM them
Once you have followed them on social media,wait for a few days and then DM them. The text can be as simple as a harmless, little "Hi," or you can go bolder with something like "I saw you staring at me today. May I know why?"
A Cheryl Blossom (fromRiverdale)-likestraightforwardness would be appreciated here. A straight question will get a clear answer. Egotistic people can very well see your text and never bother to reply.
#9 Like their posts
Like their posts to let them know that you are out there.They should know that you have gone out of your way to put your egotistic self aside to follow them first on social media.Maybe they will follow you too, in a few days.
Liking your crush's posts (especially when they are already aware of the fact that you have a crush on them) is a great way to take a step forward.Till now, they have only heard from their friends and acquaintances about your feelings for them. Liking their posts will ensure this fact.
#10 Try to know them better
They have active social media accounts. They have a large group of friends. They are friends with your friends too. And recently, they have replied to your DM. What are you waiting for? This is where you go out of your way to know your crush better.
All these resources are more than enough to let you know about the kind of person they are.Talk to their friends, and listen to what your friends have to say.
Go to that discreet meeting your common friend helped set up in the diner at the corner of the street. You will definitely get to know them better this way.Knowing them better will help you come to a conclusion about whether you should move forward with this or not.
To sum up
Your crush is staring at you. That is a clear sign of them being interested in you. They are aware of the fact that you like them. They just want to know you better.
They won't talk to you probably because they want you to talk first. If they are egotistic, chances are there that they will never approach you. This is a silent war between the two of you, based on who breaks and talks to the other first. Let's see who wins.